I tried to destroy everyone because we were all despairs. Not because of how I was treated. I expected to be hated, kicked aside, and left alone. That's how it's always been.

[It hadn't ever stopped hurting. He just got used to it and didn't see it past his ideals being disliked. Until he started getting better. Then it just hurt.]

None of what I did is excusable. My condition or treatment makes no difference. I made those choices.

It put me at odds with the rest of you. ...I do feel it could have been different if I said or did things differently. Or if more of you tried to understand me. But I've made peace with all of that. I expect everyone who comes from home to distrust or hate me.