[He shuts his eyes, pressing his face against Red's shoulder. Grief is something he used to just ignore, tossing it aside because there wasn't a point. People who got close to him, he let get close. They died. That's how it was. Their deaths lead to something better.

Usually.

This...Nanami's death had only made him scramble to find a reason. It had been so pointless! It wasn't going to lead anywhere and his mind could only find one thing to say. She was a stepping stone for some far off hope. Somehow. She could forgive him for that right? Komaeda doesn't realize he's grabbed at Red's back until he is aware that hitched shuddering breaths are his own.

Red had said not to keep it in.] You're right...keeping this in all this time.

[He laughs, breathy and soft, but there's no joy to it.] It hurt. It feels like it's just pouring out, like water...like the way we all drowned in our despair. I won't do that again. I told you, there are voices that will always be heard even when I'm in the deep dark.

...you're one of those. I'm grateful for every day we get to share. Even more so now that I know what it's like to really feel loss. ...I knew it before. But, all of it became dull over time.