eyeswideopen | Messenger Box

[ ... ]

I'm at my old place. [ He's quiet at first, but he won't make it so that Komaeda has to search him out. That wouldn't be fair. ]

I'll be there soon.

[He leaves the connection open but in no time at all he lets himself into Hinata's apartment. There's no fanfare, he shuts the door behind him something like relief on his tear streaked face. He crosses the distance between them without a wortd and pulls Hinata into a tight hug.]

I'm here.

... It hurts.

[ So much. He wants to cry but he's already drained himself of tears. His chest is in so much pain and it shows in his dark aura that tempts to suck him in. ]

Why couldn't I remember? I... could have saved her. But the 'me' back then -- I don't know. He was intrigued. Interested by her. She knew Hinata Hajime, and therefore Kamukura wanted to know more about her.

[ He balls up his hand into a fist. ]

This... must be why he wanted revenge. [ And in the voice of Kamukura, as he quotes: ] To use her as she used me.

You couldn't remember at the time because they did everything they could to erase you. [He catches Hinata's fist but doesn't make him uncurl it. A year and some months in Verens had taught him a lot about social graces. He'd never be elegant or poised all the time. Because he didn't care but, gentle with a lover was a whole other matter.]

The song those memories sing isn't done. [He added, sighing because poetics really isn't going to help right now.] Do you...need to stop thinking for a little while?

[They both know what he's offering. Closeness, comfort, and to lead the way for a while. Or at least he hopes Hinata knows what he's offering.]

[ That's right. He was supposed to be erased. And even so... there was still a part of him that cried. Was that Kamukura? No, it couldn't have been. The one who cried was himself, locked up in his own body. ]

You don't mind, do you?

[He almost doesn't know how to respond. All his life no one looked at him. Like Chiaki and Hajime do. He is so close that he can see every detail and that still stirs that part of him that tells him to run forever to protect him. His luck could take everything especially this. That fear whirls through his heart as he brushes his knuckles along Hajime's cheek.]

Mind? I'm glad you trust me to be there to catch you. [He kisses him, and they think of nothing but each other for a while after that. Komaeda sits on the edge of the bed and notes the time before towel drying his messy white hair. It's stated white instead of growing the color it had before he got sick. He fingers a wet strand of it and looks to Hinata.]

It's a good thing we were smart and have this apartment packed with spare clothes for each of us. [His pants are a loose pair and the coat he'd left at this apartment, draped over the edge of the chair is familiar. It should be it's the old green and red, hooded coat from the islands.]

Well, I did want to use this place as a work office. Although I sometimes still find it hard to wear suits.

[ For obvious reasons, as Komaeda can most likely tell. Of course, he joins Komaeda next to him on the bed and leans up against him, head on his shoulder, relaxing a bit. ] ... Thanks. For staying with me.

[He wraps his arm around Hinata and doesn't say anything. One beautiful thing he's coming to discover is words aren't always necessary. Yet he says something anyway because sometimes Hinata needs that reminder that there's one thing he can trust in if nothing else could be trusted.]

I told you. Whenever you need me, I'm here. Even if you haven't asked me to be. [It's still so strange to have this but he likes it a lot. It's too precious to lose. That's why he shouldn't be doing it.

Well. He'd stopped letting anyone tell him what he could and couldn't do.]

As much as it pains me to say it, we should get going. We need to eat and see Chiaki. She just needs to eat and maybe a travel pillow for imprompt naps.

I know.

[ And just as he says that, he decides to steal another kiss from Komaeda's lips, not even going to ask him if it's okay. ]

Thank you. I'll be alright. We should get going.

[He's spoiled. The amount of affection he gets on a daily basis is coming to be a constant in his life. The sun rises and sets, Hajime and Chiaki love him. Every kiss feels like the first and he's addicted to them. He smiles and rises to his feet, grabbing his coat from the chair.

As he pulls it on, he takes a glance down at himself. It feels like it has been ages since he wore these clothes and had a chain jangle from his hip. With a shake of his head he offers his hand.]

I know where the best food stalls are. You are blessed with the company of a veteran of where to get good quick food in a hurry! A perk of my repeatedly drawing the short straw for researcher sessions. Do you know how terrifying it is bringing food to a group of scholars?

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