eyeswideopen | Messenger Box

That is something I meant to do and I mean first to find out about it after he proposed and I accepted.

[Which makes the irritation make no sense, he knows that. But he isn't about to admit he had been busy working Dunamis when she interrupted him. He has no idea if she decided to train that skill or not.]

Nothing has been planned yet. It's only been four days.

[And she'll keep it that way, thanks. She's shown off a few tricks here and there, but given the dwindling number of secrets she has nowadays, that's one she'll try and keep under wraps. Not trying very hard since she's shown a few things here and there that are very...her, but still trying all the same.

Hey, that works out. Gives me time to think of the perfect gift for you guys. And that's not...okay, I guess no matter what I actually mean, it's going to come across as a little bit of a threat, but don't worry. I promise, I'm not going to ruin your wedding.

[She's never seen any of her friends get married, so why mess it up? Okay, there's only a million reasons to make a mess of things, but since they won't have the effect she wants, why bother? She'll just find something else to ruin in the meantime.]

I know you won't. Just the event itself is...more than enough for you, isn't it? [He surprised himself with voicing that thought. But the ugly feelings before, still linger like a echo. He knows it had been her feelings. As layered as they are he has seen them dozens of times.

He feels a twinge of self loathing that translates into the link.] After all, we were all wired to seek despair. Not love.

Got it on! Seeing you guys overcome my programming and coming together like that is absolutely despair inducing for me. So despair inducing that I don't really need to add to it. Not like that anyways.

[Okay, yes, she sure as hell could add to it. Needing to and wanting to are two very different things of course, but hey, she's selfish. And the misery of losing and watching everybody move on is pretty great if you ask her.]

I seem to recall you once laughing in my face when I told you we'd all move on. [Petty enough to rub it in? Yes, he is.]

But so long as you behave at our wedding I won't toss you again. [And enough to bring up how well he threw her when she tried to kill him.]

Hey, that's right. I did. And you proved me wrong, really, you guys can't even begin to imagine how much despair I'm in because of that.

[A lot. A lot of despair and a whole bunch of other things, but definitely a lot of despair.]

But it's okay, I can admit when I was wrong, especially when it's worth it like this has been.

[Or when it suits her. That's way more accurate.]

And wow, way to send a mixed message, should I behave or should I totally let you throw me again because it was so much fun last time? Now I don't know what I should do.

Behave. [He sinks enough authority in his voice to make it ring. It relents as his disgust flows through the connection like black ink in water.] You can get tossed again later. We both know you're going to try killing me more than once.

I won't use Dunamis on you. You'd rather see more of my surprising strength anyway.

Okay, okay, you don't have to twist my arm about it. Save that for next time, okay?

[She's definitely enjoying the disgust. It helps to ease the annoyance at everything that happened earlier, which is gross. She is so not a fan of being helped out by him even if it is through negativity like that.]

You'd enjoy that too much. Maybe I shouldn't touch you at all and just dodge. You move too slow to catch me.

[It's insulting as hell. But really, he'd stepped out of normal human speeds months ago. He sounds bored but no, he's just disgusted.]

Anyway, you're deplorable despair aside. I'm happy. For the first time, I'm truly happy. I made this life myself and luck can't take it from me.

[He knows that of all things is like a sword in the gut. He's Happy.]

Jeez, rub it in why don't you?

[She'll just let him stab her with that one again. Why not? It's awful and gross and she hates it, but it's so disgustingly hopeless to her that she can't do a thing about it.]

Well, is it really rubbing it in if I just say it? I could just be saying words. Instead of actually feeling it.

[He lays down the bait without a shred of guilt. Will she take it or no?]

Don't you fucking dare! I know I messed up Christmas for you last year, but sharing those feelings is just so twisted, even I wouldn't do something like that!

[She's...willingly taking the bait here. She knows it's a bad move and she's going to hate it, but she'll walk right into the trap just in case he's willing to spring it. Which is probably obvious.]

I seem to recall a certain video was used to share your feelings...

Ah, yes! You shared it with all of us.

[It's like a door rattling in the back of the hallway. Would it open? Would it not. It starts to creak...]

But...these are my feelings. Why should I share them with you. I've been here almost as long as you. This is the accumulation of my personal experiences. Besides, it's not like you don't know or can't predict what having all my memories has done to me.

Ah.

But you're partly responsible for all of it. I wasn't wrong, the deeper the darkness, the more a piece of metal can be honed into a sword on its edge.

[Time to switch to that same high pitched shriek from earlier.]

Oh no, I think senpai just exposed my hypocrisy! But this is totally different from that! One was part of a thoroughly calculated plan, and the other's just rubbing it in because you can!

[Not that...she doesn't do the same thing, which she's entirely aware of.]

And hey, you're welcome for all that.

[And the overexcited freaking out disappeared just like that. Instead there's just this genuine appreciation for essentially being thanked. Sure, he didn't outright say it, but that's how she's decided to take it.]

Messenger Box

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice

12/24 | voice