Messenger Box

[eyeswideopen]

If you need to get a hold of Komaeda, here's where you do it.

Messenger birds, action, what have you.

Comments

[gottacatch]

I don't want it to be that way for you anymore.

[ Because he understands the meaning for it, and it hurts to even hear the words there, the pain building in his own chest. It makes stars flicker and blur in the sky, his concentration and energy woven with Gengar's waning all this time, but the illusion--nor how real it appears--really matters anymore.

Gengar works to ease the burden on both of them (the stars don't need to extend that far, the waters don't need to move--) as Red holds Komaeda close to him, speaking without rush to his words, and only honesty. ]

...Losing someone is the most horrible pain I know. You can't do anything but wait until you breathe easier. No one can tell you when it'll come, or how to do it... you just find a way. [ His voice grows softer, like a murmur, after a pause. ]

You'll always hurt as much as you cared.

[ The words make his heart feel raw, and he falls silent to let himself breathe, recognising how personal he's allowing this to be. He's said it before--to Komaeda, and also earlier that day to Elios. It was likely the one thing he was sure in when it came how emotions worked.

The one thing he didn't have to think about, when he'd experienced it for himself. ]

I don't know if grieving is about honouring them...I just know it's something you have to do. For yourself. Because you had them, and now they're gone. [ The pain begins to rise, up into his throat. ] You cared for her and you wanted more for her. ...We want people to die peacefully, or without pain...

She wasn't allowed that. And you have to find your own peace with that.

[ He couldn't pretty it up in any way. It wouldn't be fair to the girl who died. ]

Just remember...she didn't die because you weren't strong enough. Never blame yourself--none of you.

cw: murder description

[eyeswideopen]

[All of his despair, all of his worry, all the anxiety and pain and regrets, everything he had stuffed away into the deepest recesses of himself like he always did, all of it surges up in an unbearable pressure. He lets it out, and it floods through him and down his face. He can't stop and there's some kind of relief in it.

Red's words are like a road letting him know that eventually, as his fingers cling tightly to him, it will ebb to bearable levels.]

She died because someone made a choice. Killing Enoshima won't bring her back. I don't want to kill anyone unless I have to. I'll fight to protect...so I don't have to go through this again. So no one else has to.

[His throat had closed up sometime between protect and the rest. He finally pulls back and wipes at his eyes with the heel of his palm.] ...Sorry, I'm as well as I can be. Hajime was her friend so I focused so much on his worries.

[gottacatch]

[ Red doesn't stir over how damp that part of his jacket must be getting. It'd be too late anyway, for the crying Komaeda has already done, and he rubs the hand at his back sometime during it, remembering the motion as something his mother used to do, when he was younger and had less to spill tears over.

And what Komaeda says back to him is a reassurance for him, one that he's happy to hear, though there's not much space for happiness to be felt amongst everything else. He lets him pull back when Red feels him doing so, his hands falling to his lap and his eyes a little red, but he has a lot less to wipe away at than Komaeda. ]

Don't say sorry. You're my friend. [ And-- he's happy for how he can say that easily and believe in it without a doubt, a smiling warming his face. ] You care for... --you love him, [ don't mind the way his face twitches with embarrassment there, quickly, ] so of course you'd put all your attention into his wellbeing. Next time... when you feel like this, it's okay to reach out for a friend. It's not burdening them.

[ The darkness continues to exist around them, a cluster of stars twinkling right above their heads. ]

We can stay here a little longer, if you want. Gengar's getting tired-- it's the longest she's done this, but it's okay if we stay just here.

Just until you're ready to go back.

[eyeswideopen]

[He looks up at the star filled sky. Gengar is getting tired. That decides it for him.]

I'm ready. Will you permit me to buy you hot drink when we return? The both of you have given me something I needed and I want to share my appreciation with you. [Gengar is included. She did a lot of hard work and that desires a mention and a expression of gratitude. Komaeda calls up water into his cupped hands and splashes it on his face. It will help with the sting in his eyes.]

So whatever Gengar needs to recharge...I want to help her as well. ...you couldn't be more right. I shouldn't hold grief in. Next time, I'd like to just invite you to talk or take a walk. Simple moments like that help make this...easier to bear.

[gottacatch]

[ A weight still sits in his stomach after everything, the remnants of this heavy time together, but Komaeda's words give Red a relief, and a pride as well in his friend. Regret doesn't cling to him for what he can't do. Komaeda may continue to grieve, but he should for as long as he needs to.

It makes it easy for Red to take Gengar's ball into his hand, to keep on smiling fondly. ]

I'd like that.

[ And then, a name is spoken the darkness surrounding them-- Gengar.

It shrivels away-- the cave, the ground, the sky; yet their eyes were seemingly never open when a soft light hits at their eyelids, the day now reaching where it couldn't before in Gengar's shadows. Komaeda's face will still be wet and their bodies close, yet their hands clasped like it had been from the start--but wet at the palms.

Illusions were strange things.

The smile is soft on Red's lips when his eyes open, gazing at Komaeda a moment, before his head turns near them where a big fat purple lump has emerged from the ground, laying though in a pool of dark. Pretending to snore, grin as wide as ever.

It makes Red laugh, letting go of Komaeda and leaning his hands onto his knees. ]

She'll be okay. I'll let her rest, then she can eat later with everyone else. [ A tongue flaps out the side of her mouth and between teeth, but she continues her now gurgling snoring sounds. ]

We can go wherever you like. [ The look on his face brightens. ] Show me your favourite place to get a drink!