Messenger Box

[eyeswideopen]

If you need to get a hold of Komaeda, here's where you do it.

Messenger birds, action, what have you.

Comments

[1upzero]

Alright.

[She waits for him to stand and give the go ahead when he's ready, but something about him gives her pause. She couk dnt quite place it but... She couk dnt help but feel concerned. Though he was different in many ways, he was still the same too. He was someone that needed to be watched over.]

Are you okay?

[eyeswideopen]

[Her question doesn't register at first. His mind is on the beauty of the heavens as a steady soothing toned voice speaks about miracles and the stars. Komaeda's eyes widen by just a hair, the flicker of some emotion moving through them too fast to make sense of. It's gone in an instant as he cants his head slightly to the side and his lips curve into a small, barely there smile.]

...I'm fine. You may begin. [It's there again, like a shadow that subtly brings out a deeper pattern of his expression. He is steady and resolute, like a wall and yet within there's the faintest hint of something not quite right.]

[1upzero]

[She wasn't good with the subtitles of emotion, or understanding them and how they connected to other things. However she was programmed to notice things, and she could recall every interaction she had previously had with Komaeda. The concern grew a little deeper. He was trying to do something on his own, that wouldn't do!]

Komaeda kun....

[But she didn't really know what it was, just that... there was something not quiet right.]

Please remember that everyone is here, and you are not alone.

[That was all she could really offer, before throwing another ball.]

[eyeswideopen]

[His eyes widen faintly but he has to throw up a hasty shield that isn't really strong enough to hold. The snowball shatters it and hits him right in the side of his face.

It cracks his thoughts wide open with his own icy shock. He shivers, frozen in place as it rolls through him. His widened grey eyes lock on her. He knows he isn't alone. But why...]

...why do you say that? [A part of him knows why. It scrambles to put distance between the thoughts he's manipulated to craft the shield and himself. It's like slipping on icy ground. Dwelling never did him any favors.]

[1upzero]

Because you seem like you might be struggling on your own again....

[She frowns a bit, not quite a glare but definitely a direct stare.]

You can't do that, you have to stop doing that sort of thing.

[eyeswideopen]

[His mouth goes dry and he stares at her. Struggling on his own? That never stopped. Did it? He tips his head to the side.] It's nothing important.

[He winces. His master has been more than that. He holds up a hand and tries again.]

I don't think this is something I can be helped with. I have to find my way through it.

[1upzero]

[She continues to frown, but, at least he was acknowledging it. But still, she couldn't help but think of before, of him keeping everything to himself and then acting on his own and then....

Couldn't they have helped? Couldn't something have been done?

She never wants to see that sort of thing again.]

Just remember that there are people here you can talk to.... Please, Komaeda kun, don't carry everything yourself. You can find your own way... but don't remove yourself... okay?

[eyeswideopen]

[He winces again. There's only one thing to prompt her to say something like that. Komaeda takes his bangs out of his face with a long heavy sigh. He did what he had to at the time. Even if he has guilt about it in the present.]

It's nothing like that. ...it's not something that can be helped. I promise I'm not going to be be dangerous towards anyone.

Not because of this. [Komaeda looks away, back to the gauntlets resting on a side table. No. He will never harm another the way he had before. Not a friend anyway.]

[1upzero]

That's not it.

[Of course that would always be a worry, somewhere in the back of her mind, at least for now. But that wasn't the biggest concern.]

You hurt yourself Komaeda kun, you're too quick to do that.... even if we can't help, you don't have to carry your burdens alone.

[eyeswideopen]

[A long moment of silence descends before he speaks up.]

...I don't have to voice them. Do I?

[Komaefa isn't sure he wants to discuss it. Not yet. He had tried earlier but Hinata had shut it down. Now he's reluctant to say anything at all.]

[1upzero]

You don't have to if you don't want to, Komaeda kun. Just know that if you do feel like doing so, you're not alone and we can listen. I can listen.

[She made a small emphasise on herself. Perhaps. If she had thought to talk to him more before, or had listened to him properly at that time....

The past couldn't be changed, but she was given a chance to do new things differently. It wasn't a reset, and it wasn't a new game plus, but it was a bit like an expansion or DLC and she had a better heaps on the mechanics now. She wouldn't fail him again.]

I'll always listen when you want to talk about something.

[eyeswideopen]

[He stares down at the floor, not looking at her. He starts to shake his head and stops. Komaeda walks away from the center of his work room and pours himself a mug of tea. As he wraps his hands around the steaming mug, his voice breaks the quiet.]

I tried to talk about it once. But, I don't think it's a subject Hajime wants to deal with.

[More silence. He settles at the table and envisions her untouched cup of tea warming back up. Steam curls from the other cup and he settles back.]

...you're sure you want to hear this? It's...not a subject I want to burden anyone with.

[1upzero]

[At first she blinks a bit, he had tried before? Then she frowns, even if it's something they wanted to avoid, hadn't they all learned already that communicating and listening was important? So much could have been avoided if they had just talked to each other. Opened up, trusted one another better....

She would have to talk to Hinata about that later, but first she had to be there for Komaeda.]

Hinata kun is Hinata kun, he has his own reasons for things. I do not mind hearing it if you want to share, you're not burdening me. I want to hear what you have to say. I worry if you hold it all to yourself. If it's a problem we can work on it together.

[eyeswideopen]

It was the party before the wedding. It probably was an inappropriate time to discuss it. [He defends Hinata easily. In his eyes, Hinata would know better than he would what was right to discuss when. Komaeda stares into his cup. Seemingly as if that's the last he'll say. Finally, his lips move.]

I was drunk. The party was nice and comfortable. But I found myself looking for someone I knew wouldn't be there. I didn't know why then.

I still don't. I tried to talk to Hajime about it then. I brought up that my Master, who had once been his as well, is dead. Naturally he changed the subject but I kept wondering why I brought it up.

Any time I think of him. Use his skills. Walk in his footsteps I feel...something and remember that he went home to his death. He died as he lived, ensuring hope for the next generation and yet...

[He looks over the room to the fist weapons lying on the table.]

[1upzero]

I feel that there isn't an inappropriate time....

[Komaeda was the type who would put things 9ff, but still decide to act on his own. It felt important to listen when he was open to talking. Ignoring things like that was what led to issues later.

She listened carefully, his master had left here to go to a death...
How sad. The way Komaeda spoke 9f him he must have been a great person. ]

I'm not the best when it comes to understanding things sometimes, but... Perhaps you miss him? Perhaps knowing his fate hurts? It could be grief... It can take a while sometimes,l. But, I think it's most likely something like that.

[eyeswideopen]

It does no good to dwell. [He looks up sharply, eyes narrowing. There's a faint edge to his voice. Dwelling isn't what he should be doing. It never ends well.]

Anyway, it was a party. I shouldn't have brought it up then. [A wall exists. Between him and the grief he doesn't feel he should be holding onto.]

But...to think such a man could fall like that. It's...sad.

[1upzero]

There is no should or shouldn't have. Everyone is different.

[Perhaps at that moment he had felt comfortable enough to open up?]

Can you tell me about him?

[eyeswideopen]

[He starts to speak then catches himself and shakes his head.] It's.

Mm, didn't I promise to help with your quest? Tasks need done on time. We should get going.

[1upzero]

Ah, yes.

[It was true, turning in something late wouldn't be any good, however she knew he was just using it as an excuse to avoid it. But... she wouldn't push it, when he was ready he would say something. As long as he knew he could talk when he wanted to, it was good enough.]

Ones reputation is the most important quality as an adventurer.