Messenger Box

[eyeswideopen]

If you need to get a hold of Komaeda, here's where you do it.

Messenger birds, action, what have you.

Comments

[hopedout]

I...

[ He swallows hard, his face burning a scarlet red at the voice in his head before he just yells at Komaeda. ]

I'm not going to spend that much time in there!

[ Rude. That's rude. He knits his brows and he can see the barrage of bullets appear - although they look to be more harmless than his usual bullets. ]

A- Anyway! Nanami-- I'm going to deal with myself and. Do you mind if we... talked...? After you guys are done?

[eyeswideopen]

[It's like a bucket of water has been dropped on his mood. Komaeda says nothing at all. The very reason things went sideways is because care wasn't being taken. He'd been...clinging to any scrap of affection he could get while aware he could lose it all in one blink of an eye. Hinata had been...lost in his own world and struggling with it. They hadn't talked about anything but grabbed onto each other to stay afloat. It nearly drowned them both.

He stares at the pan and pours the scrambled egg mix into it. Picking up the pan and shifting it so it spreads out is easier than making a remark until Hinata is done speaking up himself.]

I took the day off. I'll still be here when you come out.

[He stares into the pan but his mental voice is much more sober when he brushes affection at Hinata's mind. I doubt she'll leave now that you've said that. If something comes up I'll let you know. Are you...going to tell her-?]

[i_think]

[ She didn't really get a response -- and she wants one.

Because Komaeda was definitely out of it recently, and this doesn't seem like a spur-of-the-moment thing. So for now, Nanami'll operate under the assumption that maybe Komaeda's mood -- maybe Hinata's as well -- each was influenced by the other.

And she wants confirmation from Hinata that... she can delegate this. Someone with that kind of influence over you, had to mean that you could be better at knowing when someone was hurting. Nanami certainly hadn't been good enough at it to tell, lately.

But the response she gets from Hinata instead throws her off. ]

Oh! Um... [ She realizes she's been standing there for a little while. ]

Okay. We can talk after breakfast. [ She's not sure whether she should stay or go, actually. Maybe he and Hinata want some more private time. ]

Is there anything you want, Hinata-kun?...

[hopedout]

Alright.

[ He nods to himself, smiling a bit painfully before answering Komaeda's mental message. Yeah, I plan to. You... don't mind, do you? He has to ask for confirmation, if only because he's afraid that he might get hated for feeling this way, or hell, even rejected. And it shows through the link. ]

Ah, I was planning on making my own, but... anything you guys would make would be nice. I'm not too picky or anything so it should be fine. If you need me, you know how to contact me. Sorry for interrupting your discussion, by the way.

[eyeswideopen]

[Komaeda doesn't look at either of them. Just yesterday he was standing in the ruined world that had been his heart. He'd lived in that fractured place for days on end and been unable to see a way clear.

He wants to wrap his arms about himself but he can't. Not right now. There are holes and cracks in the facade of fine he's had up. Love helps but...

I'm not going to tell you what to do one way or the other. I...

He bends over the pan, adding cheese to the center as he forces him mind past the block that is trying to keep the words locked inside. Because...Nanami is right. If they can't take care of each other this isn't going to work. And part of this whole mess was him just taking hit after hit without a word of protest.

It's your decision. But, one night together isn't going to fix all the damage that's here.

His face is a mask, unreadable as stone as he straightens, turning to Nanami.] You're absolutely right. If we can't do that, this won't work out.

I'm not out to hurt anyone, and I'll do what I can.

[He finally smiles but it's faint. Almost brittle. No, Nanami. He still isn't okay. Not by a long shot. At the same time, he brushes more affection Hinata's way. I'm not going to start hating you because you want everything you decided on all at once. You can add more to the mix, if you'd like but. Remember why things went wrong in the first place.

Nanami has a very valid point. And that's what makes it hard to speak up for himself. He wants Hinata to be as happy as he wants to be. But at the same time, it was ignoring his problems, his feelings that caused so much pain to him. How fair is that?]

[hopedout]

[ Hinata immediately turns around and walks away -- he can't embarrass himself here, especially if he's going to have a serious mental conversation with Komaeda. He's still rather flustered by the wohle thing, but it's evened out.

I already said that I wasn't going to choose.

He keeps his voice firm through the link, but there's something affectionate about what he says.

I know that one night isn't going to fix things. That goes for anything, really. But there's one thing that I want you to know. I won't turn back. I'm going to create my own future. I need to fix my mistakes, and this is how I'm doing it. I have to face Nanami, even if the answer I get hurts me.

I... just care too much to lose her.

Pain like a knife -- or no, like puzzle pieces falling apart can be heard when he talks about her. He's genuinely upset, and Komaeda should immediately know why. He's going to take his shower. He said he would, didn't he? While he's off to do that, the water running, he speaks up again, eerily calm.

It's as if Kamukura took over but there's something to his voice, an edge that was never heard in Hinata prior to now.

I won't forget. If I do, you're free to punch me and remind me about the mistakes I did. Because I... care about you too. But I'm scared about how she might react. Nanami, she-- She isn't good at dating simulations.

I don't know if she understands love, primarily because she's artificial intelligence. I'm scared, Koma- He has to correct himself. Nagito.

If... in the off chance that she says no. Can I stay by your side? Can we do... what we did yesterday? I just want to hold someone really close right now because I don't know if what I'm doing is the right thing to do.

It's just really stupidly selfish of me, I know, but... would you be okay with that?

He has to drown out his yelling with the water that runs down his entire body, washing away the tears. Hinata Hajime is certainly not crying. No... ]

[i_think]

[ Nanami watches him go, somewhat abruptly. This whole morning has been a confusion of emotions, most of which she's pretty sure she doesn't understand. Including her own.

There's a swirl of emotions going on within her, too. Plenty of different conflicting things. But they're all overriden by one impulse:

She has to see how Komaeda is doing. Something about the conversation really sobered him up.

She leans against the counter, still watching him cook. It's actually not totally unlike some cooking video games she's played, so that's useful to know. ]

I didn't think you were. I don't think either of you are.

It's just still something you have to be careful of.

Komaeda-kun... [ She's hesitant, but she has an important question for him, too. ] You'll look after Hinata-kun, too. Right?

[eyeswideopen]

[As much as he wants to answer his ridiculous boyfriend, Nanami's questions catch him by surprise as he moves to grab a plate. Komaeda pauses, hand on the cupboard edge.]

Of course. I'll do everything I can to take care of him. He's made a lot of mistakes with it...but I'm not about to be a poor boyfriend to him. He's trying and that's what matters. I wasn't exactly the most careful person with my own heart either. So he didn't make the mistakes entirely on his own.

[He had been hurt so bad. It's not something he likes thinking about even if he just mentioned it to Hinata. He kind of wishes he had time to step into the bathroom and hold his probably losing shit in there Hajime until he calms down. But being a poor host to a friend isn't in him either. He slides the omelet onto the plate and sets it in her reach.]

Next time, I'll try making it fish shaped.

[Komaeda smiles just a little less brokenly. And finally reaches for Hinata's mind again. He knows what to do and constructs the mental space, using his memories of his bathroom. It will feel like warm arms are wrapping around Hinata's waist and Komaeda's body fitting up against his as his love, his hopes, and appreciation runs over him just like the water. Hajime. Did you really think I'd turn you away? I'm not...ready for any sort of activity that would make us both stop thinking but.

All I ever wanted was to be by your side. Whether this is selfish is not for me to decide. But part of being in a relationship is supporting each other. There's no you or I. It's an us, now.]

[i_think]

[ The omelet's done, just like that. Nanami probably missed a couple of steps. At least she got the gist? ]

Thank you... [ She finds a fork and knife and begins cutting it up, while Komaeda focuses his energies on reaching out to Hinata. She looks up and listens quietly to the shower running. ]

Even when he's at his lowest. [ She places a careful hand on his back, pushing gently on the fabric of his shirt, towards the stairs.

Hint, hint, Komaeda. ]

I'll be down here when you're ready for me... probably.

[ Meanwhile she'll be cutting that omelet -- into three even slices. ]

[eyeswideopen]

[He stares at her while his face turns as scarlet as Hinata's had been earlier. Komaeda stares at the ceiling then takes the pan off the burner and shuts off the stove. He pours her coffee and his own, setting his off to the side.

It takes a second to locate the sugar and set it on the counter. Then he spins on his heel and strides for the bathroom.]

I'll be a few minutes.

[Maybe more than a few but nothing too long.]

[i_think]

[ Nanami watches him go, and keeps listening to the water flow through the pipes to the shower, where the other two are obviously talking. She's still turning things over in her head, and not sure what to think about first.

So she decides to think about something else entirely. Sometimes walking away from a game is the best way of beating it, after all. She picks up her plate and wanders over to Komaeda's living room to look at the map of Verens, examining it closely to see all the little streets and alleys on the island.

So much to figure out. So many intricacies...

She notices the journals but leaves them alone for now. Instead, she idly picks up one of Komaeda's huge books and flops down onto the couch with it, setting her plate aside. She flips through the volume, losing herself in the details of the Arehtei, and before she knows it, she's drifting off...

Yep, she forgot to drink her coffee, and keeping odd hours will do that to a person, former AI or not. ]

[hopedout]

[ It takes him a few minutes, but those few minutes are worth it before Hinata comes back, fully clothed. He has a towel around his neck and he immediately notices-- ]

O-Oi, Nanami. Wake up.

[eyeswideopen]

[Komaeda leans on the back of the couch, his eyes sliding shut. He's a only little tired but, it's that blissful sense of contentment that's really threatening to put his lights out.

He's fully dressed in the outfit he wore on Jabberwock. The chain on his hip rattles as he sighs.]

She must have forgot to drink her coffee.

[He opens one eye, while resting his chin on his palm. With an effort of thought he reaches for her mind.

Nanami, we're ready now. He lets a softer, friendly affection twist in lazy circles through the connection. Komaeda lets his eye settle on Hinata as he whispers.]

Do you want me here for this...or shall I go wake myself up? [He points to the exercise room just across from the couch.]

[i_think]

H-huh...? [ She hasn't gotten used to telepathy yet, so sometimes she forgets that it's a thing, and particularly that it can be used the way Komaeda does. It means that when she wakes, she wakes with a careful smile. ]

Oh... Already? [ The time seems to have flown. She's not sure how long it's been since she got here. She looks up at the two of them, and rubs her eyes. ]

Mm... okay. Your breakfast is on the counter... [ She blinks. ] What did you want to talk about?...

[hopedout]

I think it would be better if you heard this too, Nagito.

[ He has to remind himself that they're on a first name basis now. It's hard, considering that he's just so used to calling him by last name. Hinata looks at her with serious eyes, pressing his lips together. Although he's trembling slightly, he swallows things hard. ]

I... I don't know how much you'll understand it. But I want you to listen anyway, Nanami. For the longest time, back on the island... I didn't realize it at the time, but. I loved you. No, 'loved' isn't right-- I still love you, Nanami. But... I also love Nagito, too.

Does that make sense...?

[i_think]

[ Her heart hammers in her chest, and her mouth goes dry. What strange physical reactions emotions can bring, she thinks. A soft moss begins to spread across Komaeda's floor, not that she really notices it. She puts a hand to her chest. ]

Hinata-kun...

[ Her eyes flick suddenly to Komaeda, who's also watching her intently. They're both waiting for her to react. But how should she react, in a situation like this? What's the right answer?

She swallows. ] You two have... known, for a little while, huh? And here I am... I guess I'm a bit taken by surprise...

[ She's flattered -- and some part of her thinks that it's more than she could have hoped for: but there's one thing wrong about this. She suddenly turns her gaze on Komaeda. ]

But... that wouldn't be very fair to Komaeda-kun, would it? I don't know... you know me and dating sims, maybe this actually isn't all that uncommon... but I hadn't heard of it, and...

[ She remembers what she said earlier. ] If you two can't take care of each other, there's no reason for you to be together, is there? So... can you do that, Hinata-kun? With your attention divided?... Because...

If you can't... [ The moss glitches away, and the room feels a bit colder, but Nanami swallows and presses on. ] Then I don't really have any business here... do I?

[eyeswideopen]

[This is his cue. Komaeda slips around to join her on the couch. He doesn't make eye contact with Hinata as his heart is suddenly far, far too loud. She'd pretty much outlined his fear as precisely as if she drew it on a page. But while holding Hinata close to him in that shower, and even before that.

What he'd done to throw Enoshima away from focusing on her...He glances down at his left hand, remembering how for an hour he'd sat in the dark with one hand entirely inhuman until the feelings of those memories settled. He clenches it and faces her.]

You haven't heard of a relationship like that because they're uncommon. But it isn't just one person extending bonds to two people. It's...

[He reaches for her hands and gently takes them in his.] Those connections span between all three people. While I do think Hajime and I could work out as just us.

...I'm not about to make him choose and to be honest with you. [He looks off to the side, to where he'd caught the moss growing and then back at her.]

I never cared what society thought of me and my decisions anyway. Why don't we both take care of this unruly mess of ours, and each other too.

[He smiles, just for her something soft, a little hopeful, and very real.]

But in the end, the decision is yours. Whatever you decide, we'll be here with you on this glimmering road to the future.

[hopedout]

Nanami.

[ His voice is serious as his eyes burning red as he goes closer to her, gently pressing his hand gently on her cheek if she allows it. He pours affection, shown as bright electricity as his hair turns white. ]

I didn't want to admit it. I was scared... that maybe, I'd lose you again. I don't want to. When you died, I was devastated. It hurt. I couldn't stand it.

[ He smiles, his expression soft. In fact, Hinata looks like he's about to cry. ]

I promised you that I'd teach you about the world. I can do that. No, we can, together. It might be difficult and people might give us weird looks, but I don't care. I'm not going to choose between the two of you. You're both too different to compare the pros and cons. Nagito's changed so much. And Nanami -- I want to protect you. I want to hold you close and never let you go. Because I'm afraid if I do, you'll disappear again.

I was even scared of telling you this because I make mistakes. I was frightened of rejection. I'm still shaking a little. I want to make this work. After all, you're real... you've always been real to me, no matter what. I'll be by your side, alright?

[i_think]

[ Nanami gasps, half-hiccup and half-sob, and then what else can she do but throw her arms around them, a tight double-hug to show a fraction of how much she cares about both of them, how grateful and how fond, her emotion pouring forth in real light and warmth, everything quiet around them, no sound in her ears but the boys' breathing and heartbeats.

After a while she can finally speak, breaking that silent embrace. ] It's true that I was always going to be looking after both of you, especially here. I always wanted to, since I met you... at every turn where it seemed like I couldn't... it was like the world was darker, held less meaning, maybe. And here... where I was given another chance to, how could I give that up?

[ She sniffs and buries her face in first one shoulder, then the other. ] Real or gone... I'm here for you both. As much as I can be. I don't... know much about love, but... I think I know that. [ She hugs them a little tighter, but the warmth and closeness is never painful for her.

Pure and simple, it's peace. Some worry for the future, some tears, some happiness overspilling -- it all balances, with these two. This, she knows. ]

[eyeswideopen]

[He lets out the breath of air he'd been holding and wraps his arms around both of them. His chest feels so warm he's a little terrified he might catch fire and there's entirely too much touching. But, that's okay. He'll get used to it.

He fists the back of Hinata's shirt with a shaking hand. He'd been so scared that this wouldn't work. He cares a great deal about Nanami and loves Hinata. It's very possible in time he'll come to love Nanami just as much. No. He's pretty sure that's going to happen.

At some point.

He leans into Nanami, rubbing her back. She had looked out for them. Now they would do what they couldn't. Protect and look out for her. His hand clinging to Hin- Hajime slips around to grasp his hip and pull him a little closer.]

Well, with that settled I'll definitely have to invest in a much larger couch! This one is comfortable but ahaha, with three people we can only sit.

[He's only had a night of cuddling but he's already addicted to it. It's really, really nice. He really hopes this is all bad luck, if only so he knows nothing awful will come crashing to try and take this warmth and life from him.]

[hopedout]

You don't need a larger couch, Nagito. If you do that, I won't be able to make Nanami sit on my lap.

[ He is one hundred percent serious about that. ]

...Um. Ah. Nanami? Do you mind if I ask you something else first?

[ He's blushing like crazy and while this is really comfortable, he feels like a balloon that's about to burst. ]

I-- I want to kiss you. ...Can I?

[i_think]

[ The first comment makes Nanami blush. The request just makes her blush more. ]

W-wait... [ She finally pulls away from the hug, reluctantly. But: ] Will this work?

[ She flops down onto Hinata's lap. It's a little bony, but overall pretty comfortable. And now there's more room on the couch. ] Huh. I guess it does.

[ Science completed, she finally looks up at Hinata and nods.

And yet, even as she finds Hinata's hand with her own small one, to hold and keep her steady, her other reaches for Komaeda's. ]

[eyeswideopen]

[Komaeda meets her halfway, lacing their fingers together. He shifts on the couch so he can see a bit better and to support her. While he thought he'd be uncomfortable with the idea...actually it just makes perfect sense and he's breathing a little faster.

He lifts his head to catch Hinata's eyes, and opens a mental connection. Relax. But he doesn't interfere any further than that.]

[hopedout]

[ S-Shut up! You're the one who has to watch anyway...! Basically, you're not helping, Komaeda. He can feel his heart hammering in his chest nervously, licking his lips before he takes a breath in... then out. ]

Um... if I mess up, just tell me, Nanami.

[ He admits that meekly before leaning in for the kiss. Here goes nothing...! ]

[i_think]

Okay... !

[ Not that she would really know how one can mess up kissing. Maybe if you had bad aim? Or if you kissed someone after eating a lot of onions or something...

Right, kissing. It was happening.

Hinata's lips are pressed against her own before she knows it. She doesn't do much in response except press back with her lips, just enough so that their lips sort of mold together and fit well. A small smile tugs at the edge of Nanami's lips, and she squeezes Hinata's hand gently.

This is really nice..., she thinks, loudly enough to be heard. ]