eyeswideopen | Messenger Box

eyeswideopen

If you need to get a hold of Komaeda, here's where you do it.

Messenger birds, action, what have you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

eyeswideopen

[It takes him a moment to process all the information she's referencing. He blinks as he passes from the living room into his kitchen. Crackers are...the same cupboard as his soup ingredients. Right?]

I would call Dunamis part of your studies about being a human. It's at it's base...a mastery of the self. The only way to begin it is to study the patterns of your manifested emotions.

[He stares at the wide open space. A table rests at the center of the kitchen. The chairs artfully arranged about it. The stove and appliances are on the right, hooks above the stove where his pots and pans hang, ready for use. He pauses to check the pot of coffee brewing and counts the cupboards. Third one.]

The Arehtei, you can reach out to them any time for a talk. I'd suggest starting with Elios. He's the easiest to approach.

From:

i_think

Hmm. That sounds reasonable. [ She spots him struggling in the kitchen and finally abandons her own gormless staring to assist him with his. She opens a couple of cupboards before finding a couple of mugs, which she takes out. ]

Things have been glitching sometimes. When my emotions, um... are more powerful.

[ She leans against a counter to watch the pot brewing. ]

I've mostly been watching other people to see how they cope with being human. [ A sideways glance. Speaking of which: ]

Did you sleep well, Komaeda?... [ He looks super out of it. ]

From:

eyeswideopen

[He smiles immediately, and pushes away from the doorway to enter the kitchen.] Oh, I did.

I slept very well. [He only needs to shut his eyes to remember last night. If he looks any more blissed out, someone might think he's about to pass out. Komaeda opens the third cupboard and sets the box of crackers on the counter.]

Emotional effects can vary. It's important to study which one happens and what you're feeling at the time. Ah, for example...When I'm really happy, white flowers bloom all around me.

[There's actually some under his feet right now from thinking about...well. He glances down and blushes. Day dreaming is probably not something he should be doing. With a laugh he sweeps his hand out, reshaping the energy back into the proper floor.] Ahahaha, sorry. I guess I slept a little too well!

From:

i_think

[ Nanami saw him go through a few different emotions on the Island, but she's never seen anything like this from him. It's not exactly worring... but it is strange. ]

Hey... it seems like you're really good at that, today...

[ And he's been coming back to the house troubled. It's been hard not to notice, with him across the street and all. But today's something different. ]

Komaeda-kun... [ Goodness, it looks like he's about to fall over. She reaches out a hand to steady him, or catch him if he falls. ] Did something happen?.....

From:

eyeswideopen

[Oh he must be worrying her. He leans back against his kitchen counter with a contented sigh.] It did, but it was something very good.

...I don't think I've ever been this happy before. [This is what having someone's love and it being his to keep is like. He had no idea it could feel like this. Komaeda rakes his bangs out of his face.]

...do you want breakfast instead of crackers? I can't make much but, I know how to fix an omelet or something simplier.

From:

i_think

[ She had been planning to just eat crackers for breakfast... but she did promise Sonia to eat better, and more regularly. ]

... Sure. You can teach me how to make it, so that I can make omelets for you sometime too.

[ She tilts her head a little. ] I'm... really curious what could have happened to you to make you so happy, Komaeda. Especially since recently, you've been looking pretty sad. But... whether or not you want to tell me what it is, I'm glad you're this happy.

From:

eyeswideopen

[He blinks. It's a sobering realization that she spotted that. He'd been careful to only let his face show how miserable he was inside when he got to his front door at night. There's never any lights on until he enters, so...

But as he stares at her, his lips parted he recalls a few times he hadn't cared who saw. Times he'd let the weight of his despair that threatened to snuff out the hope he carried show like a beacon.]

...It was a really complicated situation, Nanami. Do you remember why you're so bad at dating sims?

[It's the easiest way to talk about it. While the hurt from then is dying down to fading embers...it's still painful to discuss. He grabs a skillet from the hooks and sets it on the stove. Cooking will take the edge off of the healing wounds on his heart.]

From:

i_think

[ She nods. ] Because there's no right answer... there's no such thing as a golden ending in most dating sims. Eventually you get to an end, but you have no idea if you were supposed to choose a different path.

From:

eyeswideopen

You're correct! There's no right answer. [He turns on the heat, pouring a small amount of oil into the pan and shifts it about. Once the oil has coated the bottom of the pan, he continues.]

It's more complex because you're factoring in people and people are complicated. Give seven individuals the same situation and you'll get a variety of responds. Some might be the same! But most will be different.

[Komaeda walks over to the fridge and pulls it open. He grabs the eggs, and what else he needs.]

When two people form a bond, it is even more naunced. They have their history, their emotions, and their personalities to contend with. They could come from entirely different backgrounds and only have a physical attraction to each other that starts that path... Even their first meeting factors into it. Or the moment one confesses...or realizes how the other feels.

[He stares at the shut fridge door for a long moment. It's not hard to talk about it like this but it's about to get very personal.]

If one or both start to love each other...that's when that complexity takes on even more life. Because not only is there a bond but it could hurt them in ways they never imagined.

Edited Date: 2016-07-11 05:44 am (UTC)

From:

i_think

With good comes bad, and with love comes... the possibility for...

[ The words tumble out of her mouth almost automatically. The conversation with Enoshima is still very much on her mind. ]

... the other thing.

[ She blinks. ] Life is a system of dualities, but the more that intersect, the more complicated it is to understand. Right?

From:

hopedout

[ Hinata is very much awake now, but he's a bit groggy as he walks in with a yawn, completely shirtless and in his boxers because no way in hell was he going to sleep in his suit... ]

Oi, Komaeda do you have some clothes I can bo--

From:

hopedout

W-Wait, Nanami...!?

[ What is she doing here this early in the morning?? He's internally screaming because this is the worst position to be in, considering his... morning wood.

W e l p. ]

From:

eyeswideopen

[This is a good morning. He meets Hinata's eyes with a pleased, but amused quirk of his eyebrows to match the smile on his face.]

Nagito. [He corrects him, as he leans his hip against the counter.]

You've been here several times before. I keep my clothes in the bedroom closet. Pants are hung up along side my shirts. Shoes at the bottom, and coats on the rack. Underwear is in the nightstand by the left side of the bed.

Do you need any other assistance? [He keeps an eye on him as he returns to cracking eggs and setting up the mixture for Nanami's omelet.] If you need something right away, I'd suggest stepping into the shower. I'll bring a set of clean clothes to you after I finish here.

[How many double meanings did he fit in? Oh, a few.]

You might want to put something on those marks by the way. [He smiles wider, tapping the side of his neck that's partly covered by the collar of his shirt. He really hopes Hinata makes him pay for that remark later. Looking pretty pleased with himself Komaeda turns his attention back to Nanami.]

You're absolutely right. The more points of connection between two people and the more layered and heavy with meaning their relationship can be. Even with friends! That's why there's all that talk about childhood friends and the tragedies that sometimes birth from their ties breaking.

It's interesting, isn't it?

Edited Date: 2016-07-11 06:33 am (UTC)

From:

i_think

[ Nanami is mostly frozen when Hinata shows up, if only because she isn't sure how to react. She hadn't realized that Hinata had stayed the night, and this fact seemed to paralyze Hinata and embolden Komaeda.

Even she can tell that some of what the two are talking about is a bit intimate, though. And the timing of Komaeda's explanation to her doesn't escape her, either. She finally averts her gaze, instead deciding to focus on how Komaeda's cooking, so that she can learn. ]

Yes... interesting... [ She mumbles it, Komaeda's question startling her out of her reverie, grateful for another entrance into the conversation. ]

I imagine... especially for two people who are really good friends... another layer of connection could cause your emotions to really fluctuate, couldn't it?

[ Her eyes flick back and forth between the two boys, remembering Komaeda's moodiness, Hinata's occasional evasiveness. Things begin falling into place. ]

From:

hopedout

Wha-- O-Oi, I thought you didn't...!?

[ Did he somehow miss something that Komaeda did? Did he get drunk at some point?? He's pretty sure that wasn't the case and he can feel his face burning. ]

I'll... just head to the shower.

[ HE'S SO FLUSTERED THAT. A BULLET FORMS AND JUST. SHOOTS TOWARDS THE GROUND because goddamn it Komaeda. of course, the bullet is harmless as there's a farting noise that comes from it. and then explodes into a water fireworks explosion. ]

From:

eyeswideopen

[The water stops, met by a wind wall from Komaeda's held out hand. His voice in Hinata's mind is soft and warm, filled with affection and amusement. Well, you must have really been out of it last night. It was the first thing we did on my couch. One of the only things, as they both were just too overwhelmed and too damaged to do more than affirm they belonged to each other.

But if Hinata looks there's definitely a nice sized hickey on the left side of his neck, right above his collarbones.

He glances down in the bowl and whips the mixture. He pauses, shooting Hinat- Hajime a sly look.] Don't spend forever in there.

[To Nanami who he is sure has put a lot of pieces together he gives her a smile and carries the bowl in his free hand.]

Yes, adding another layer of connection can cause emotions to fluctuate. But it depends on what's going on with that connection! [Translation: Some really bad choices were made but things are fine now.]

From:

i_think

[ Nanami flinches as the bullet splashes towards them, but Komaeda's quick action is enough to keep her mostly dry. Her socks get soaked. But she doesn't really mind, she thinks. ]

Well... maybe since you were so down for so many days, now you're in an up period. [ She's addressing both of them. ] And I really think that's a good thing.

[ She sits on the kitchen floor to pull her shoes off and then her soaked socks, wiggling her toes to dry them out. ]

It's important that you two take care of each other, though. Otherwise, it wouldn't really make sense for you two to be together, if it just made you unhappy. [ She puts her feet back in her shoes. Almost for the first time since he entered, she looks at Hinata. ]

Does that make sense?

From:

hopedout

I...

[ He swallows hard, his face burning a scarlet red at the voice in his head before he just yells at Komaeda. ]

I'm not going to spend that much time in there!

[ Rude. That's rude. He knits his brows and he can see the barrage of bullets appear - although they look to be more harmless than his usual bullets. ]

A- Anyway! Nanami-- I'm going to deal with myself and. Do you mind if we... talked...? After you guys are done?

From:

eyeswideopen

[It's like a bucket of water has been dropped on his mood. Komaeda says nothing at all. The very reason things went sideways is because care wasn't being taken. He'd been...clinging to any scrap of affection he could get while aware he could lose it all in one blink of an eye. Hinata had been...lost in his own world and struggling with it. They hadn't talked about anything but grabbed onto each other to stay afloat. It nearly drowned them both.

He stares at the pan and pours the scrambled egg mix into it. Picking up the pan and shifting it so it spreads out is easier than making a remark until Hinata is done speaking up himself.]

I took the day off. I'll still be here when you come out.

[He stares into the pan but his mental voice is much more sober when he brushes affection at Hinata's mind. I doubt she'll leave now that you've said that. If something comes up I'll let you know. Are you...going to tell her-?]

From:

i_think

[ She didn't really get a response -- and she wants one.

Because Komaeda was definitely out of it recently, and this doesn't seem like a spur-of-the-moment thing. So for now, Nanami'll operate under the assumption that maybe Komaeda's mood -- maybe Hinata's as well -- each was influenced by the other.

And she wants confirmation from Hinata that... she can delegate this. Someone with that kind of influence over you, had to mean that you could be better at knowing when someone was hurting. Nanami certainly hadn't been good enough at it to tell, lately.

But the response she gets from Hinata instead throws her off. ]

Oh! Um... [ She realizes she's been standing there for a little while. ]

Okay. We can talk after breakfast. [ She's not sure whether she should stay or go, actually. Maybe he and Hinata want some more private time. ]

Is there anything you want, Hinata-kun?...

From:

hopedout

Alright.

[ He nods to himself, smiling a bit painfully before answering Komaeda's mental message. Yeah, I plan to. You... don't mind, do you? He has to ask for confirmation, if only because he's afraid that he might get hated for feeling this way, or hell, even rejected. And it shows through the link. ]

Ah, I was planning on making my own, but... anything you guys would make would be nice. I'm not too picky or anything so it should be fine. If you need me, you know how to contact me. Sorry for interrupting your discussion, by the way.

From:

eyeswideopen

[Komaeda doesn't look at either of them. Just yesterday he was standing in the ruined world that had been his heart. He'd lived in that fractured place for days on end and been unable to see a way clear.

He wants to wrap his arms about himself but he can't. Not right now. There are holes and cracks in the facade of fine he's had up. Love helps but...

I'm not going to tell you what to do one way or the other. I...

He bends over the pan, adding cheese to the center as he forces him mind past the block that is trying to keep the words locked inside. Because...Nanami is right. If they can't take care of each other this isn't going to work. And part of this whole mess was him just taking hit after hit without a word of protest.

It's your decision. But, one night together isn't going to fix all the damage that's here.

His face is a mask, unreadable as stone as he straightens, turning to Nanami.] You're absolutely right. If we can't do that, this won't work out.

I'm not out to hurt anyone, and I'll do what I can.

[He finally smiles but it's faint. Almost brittle. No, Nanami. He still isn't okay. Not by a long shot. At the same time, he brushes more affection Hinata's way. I'm not going to start hating you because you want everything you decided on all at once. You can add more to the mix, if you'd like but. Remember why things went wrong in the first place.

Nanami has a very valid point. And that's what makes it hard to speak up for himself. He wants Hinata to be as happy as he wants to be. But at the same time, it was ignoring his problems, his feelings that caused so much pain to him. How fair is that?]

From:

hopedout

[ Hinata immediately turns around and walks away -- he can't embarrass himself here, especially if he's going to have a serious mental conversation with Komaeda. He's still rather flustered by the wohle thing, but it's evened out.

I already said that I wasn't going to choose.

He keeps his voice firm through the link, but there's something affectionate about what he says.

I know that one night isn't going to fix things. That goes for anything, really. But there's one thing that I want you to know. I won't turn back. I'm going to create my own future. I need to fix my mistakes, and this is how I'm doing it. I have to face Nanami, even if the answer I get hurts me.

I... just care too much to lose her.

Pain like a knife -- or no, like puzzle pieces falling apart can be heard when he talks about her. He's genuinely upset, and Komaeda should immediately know why. He's going to take his shower. He said he would, didn't he? While he's off to do that, the water running, he speaks up again, eerily calm.

It's as if Kamukura took over but there's something to his voice, an edge that was never heard in Hinata prior to now.

I won't forget. If I do, you're free to punch me and remind me about the mistakes I did. Because I... care about you too. But I'm scared about how she might react. Nanami, she-- She isn't good at dating simulations.

I don't know if she understands love, primarily because she's artificial intelligence. I'm scared, Koma- He has to correct himself. Nagito.

If... in the off chance that she says no. Can I stay by your side? Can we do... what we did yesterday? I just want to hold someone really close right now because I don't know if what I'm doing is the right thing to do.

It's just really stupidly selfish of me, I know, but... would you be okay with that?

He has to drown out his yelling with the water that runs down his entire body, washing away the tears. Hinata Hajime is certainly not crying. No... ]

From:

i_think

[ Nanami watches him go, somewhat abruptly. This whole morning has been a confusion of emotions, most of which she's pretty sure she doesn't understand. Including her own.

There's a swirl of emotions going on within her, too. Plenty of different conflicting things. But they're all overriden by one impulse:

She has to see how Komaeda is doing. Something about the conversation really sobered him up.

She leans against the counter, still watching him cook. It's actually not totally unlike some cooking video games she's played, so that's useful to know. ]

I didn't think you were. I don't think either of you are.

It's just still something you have to be careful of.

Komaeda-kun... [ She's hesitant, but she has an important question for him, too. ] You'll look after Hinata-kun, too. Right?

From:

eyeswideopen

[As much as he wants to answer his ridiculous boyfriend, Nanami's questions catch him by surprise as he moves to grab a plate. Komaeda pauses, hand on the cupboard edge.]

Of course. I'll do everything I can to take care of him. He's made a lot of mistakes with it...but I'm not about to be a poor boyfriend to him. He's trying and that's what matters. I wasn't exactly the most careful person with my own heart either. So he didn't make the mistakes entirely on his own.

[He had been hurt so bad. It's not something he likes thinking about even if he just mentioned it to Hinata. He kind of wishes he had time to step into the bathroom and hold his probably losing shit in there Hajime until he calms down. But being a poor host to a friend isn't in him either. He slides the omelet onto the plate and sets it in her reach.]

Next time, I'll try making it fish shaped.

[Komaeda smiles just a little less brokenly. And finally reaches for Hinata's mind again. He knows what to do and constructs the mental space, using his memories of his bathroom. It will feel like warm arms are wrapping around Hinata's waist and Komaeda's body fitting up against his as his love, his hopes, and appreciation runs over him just like the water. Hajime. Did you really think I'd turn you away? I'm not...ready for any sort of activity that would make us both stop thinking but.

All I ever wanted was to be by your side. Whether this is selfish is not for me to decide. But part of being in a relationship is supporting each other. There's no you or I. It's an us, now.]